What Jack Bauer Won't Say...
I Love 24...Each Season Just Keeps Getting Better and Better. While Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) keeps becoming more and more of a Bad Ass, he's the Best Action Hero of All Time. People are starting to wonder if there is there anything he won't do or say. So since I consider myself a 24 Aficionado, I have come up with a List of things that Jack Bauer Would Never Say.....

"Everybody Calm Down...I Brought Enough Snackwells for Everybody"
" If You Put a Gun to My Head, I'd Have to say Cloris Leechman was my Favorite Actor in Spanglish"
"More Mayonnaise!"
"Who Read My Journal? Seriously, That's Private."
(Aftering Injurying Himself) "Samson's Cat...That Smarts!"
"I Can't Believe Edgar has More MySpace Buddies than Me."
"I'm so Bummed, I forgot to TIVO Skating with the Stars Last Night?"
"Anyone See My Troll Pen?"
"Happy Birthday, I Knitted This For You"
"Who's Djing at Liquid Tonight?"
"My First Puppy was named Snuggles and My 2nd puppy is Name Sparkles"
"I want to be in Charge of Secret Santa This Year"
"Guys I just took this Internet Quiz that says the OC Character I'm Most similiar too is Caleb, Ugh"
"These Ugg Boots aren't as comfortable as My Last Pair"
"I Put some of My Famous Risotto in Fridge, Help Yourself"
and Finally
"Mr. President, Can We Just Hug?"

27 Comments:
hilarious! ooh, that reminds me...did *I* record "Skating with Celebrities"?
Funny stuff. 24 and Best Week ever are defenatly my favorite shows on tv.
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hahaha thier ace, jack rules.
HA!!!!!!!!! You forgot "hey guys let's exchange receipes"
Paul, you are funny. Did you know that Penn Jillette watches all four seasons of the 24 DVD in succession!? He is crazy. Speaking of crazy, I have a gallon of my own feces in the fridge. Time for a nosh.
I hate Proper Use Of capitalizatiOn too.
I have to say the Snackwells line was the best so it was all downhill from there but damn that was a high peak.
hahahahaa
The Secret santa one was my favorite
you may also add, "Chloe, how can I change the stylesheet for my blog?"
Hey Paul!
You forgot, "Damn, I left the detonator in my Miata".
How about-
"No dessert for me, thanks, it'll go straight to my hips."
or
"I think someone forgot that I like skim milk in my iced mocha latte."
my gun!! its unloaded?!
"I Can't Believe Edgar has More MySpace Buddies than Me."
Priceless.
The list is so funny.
"Guys, I'm really tired right now. I'm going to go lie down for a bit."
righteously funny, man!
Seriously! I want answers, who took the last blue-berry muffin! Ive been looking forward all day to it...
seaons 5 body count
http://sandcastlesandcubicles.blogspot.com/2006/01/24-season-5-body-count.html
how about "i have to pee"
hahaha
great stuff!!
Hey, how about "Tony, do I look fat in these pants?"
These are freakin hilarious.
absolutely adore the oc and myspaceones.
and the ugg boots.
freakin hilarious.
oh yeh, and the knitting.
you're goodddd.
24 rocks, bauer is my hero too! these are great!
> ...please...
> ...thanks...
> ...you look just great/fabulous/fantastic!...
> ...I honestly...
> ...I would love to...
> ...I'm really sorry...
=o)'
> ...let's be friends...
> ...I give up...
> ...be home before six...
> ...go hug your mom...
> ...I left a note on the fridge...
Thanks, this was funny.
How about,"Oh, no! I have a paper cut!!"?
Or,"Do you like my lace doilies?"?
How bout "I'm gellin' like magellen"
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