A Thanksgiving Experiment
Happy Thanksgiving!
In the Spirit of the Holiday Everyone Post The Most Ridiculous, Racist, or Obscure Thing That a Member of Your Family said today and I'll compile them here and Post them in a Blog Entry, later this week.
I'll Start...
"I just think the Jews should have Fought Back during World War 2, There were so Many of Them"-My Grandma
posted by Paul Scheer @ 7:19 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
"Someday you'll see that it's smarter for you to be a Republican." ~ Dad
It's not from this year, but really, that took the cake :)
"So there we were, me and Sid Vicious, outside the mafia bar beating these Redskins in the face with trash can lids." ~ my boss
"Is that new boyfriend of yours a Christian?" - Southern Baptist Grandma
"He was raised Catholic" - Me
"Oh...what a shame." - Southern Baptist Grandma
I was at my parents' house for less than 10 minutes. My 17 year old cheerleader cousin from the mountains of Tennessee was watching the competition scene in "Bring it On." The black squad had just begun their cheer. She turned to my family and said:
"See right here. The black squad does a bunch of illegal moves right here. But no one stops them, of course, because the black and Mexican cheerleaders get away with everything at competitions. They can do their nasty chimmy changa shake dance and no one stops them. That is so wrong, yall."
You should have heard her take on the death penalty! Genius! Also:
"Back when the military was having problems with The Blacks back in the 50's, we had some good ways to keep them quiet. We had to stop that a few years later, of course, but it sure worked to keep them in line." - My grandpa, a former Master Sergeant in the USAF talking about military law vs. civilian law. I'm an ACLU member and in law school. He was trying to connect with me.
I'm sick of all these lazy Jamaicans!
-- Me (re: the lazy Jamaican nurses during a recent hospital stay)
As she's leaving our house, scary old relative yells out, "and P.S. there was no such thing as slavery! The blacks came here for the free welfare!"
Yes crazy lady, they came here by the ship-loads from their homes in Africa so they can enjoy our free govn't cheese...
"Black people don't go to the movies--they don't have any money!" -my mother, as I was trying to explain to her why movies like White Chicks to so well at the box office.
(while visiting Great Uncle Wally at the nursing home)
GUW: Those Black ones are all over.
Grandma: Black ones?
GUW: Black ones.
Grandma (clearly not understanding): We can get you some bug spray, Wally.
...and how could I forget.
Aunt Sharon: "You can hardly find any of those Billy the Big Mouth Bass anymore. You really have to search."
"The Koreans are very nice people. Dirty, but nice."
-Great Grandma referring to her Queens, NY neighborhood. Please forgive her.
Grandpa: "So...what? Didja steal that hat off a dead nigger?"
Me: *stares in shocked disbelief and takes off hat*
its a little late but im going to post a comment anywways.
"She is working with all the Jews. Only Jews work on Thanksgiving."
-My mother, when someone asked where my sister was. Appraently Jews dont celebrate Thanksgiving.
its a little late but im going to post a comment anywways.
"She is working with all the Jews. Only Jews work on Thanksgiving."
-My mother, when someone asked where my sister was. Appraently Jews dont celebrate Thanksgiving.
i'm also late, but my mom, meeting my college friends for the first time explained how she got lost one time driving in a black neighborhood. When she got home she "bleached everything, the car, her clothes, myself."
She followed this up by stage whispering to me "What race is your friend Simon?" Simon is white.
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